Ooooo... good day today. It's Sunday, weigh-in day. ::sigh:: Typically this is a semi-suicidal day. One of those where you'd rather beat yourself bloody with the scale than stand on it and read the numbers. But... today's was 184! OMG, that's 20 pounds in all from this past semester when I started losing. Whew! So, I'm rather pleased with that. I've finally kind of figured out what I've got to do to keep my body from plateauing. I did for like a month there but I wasn't actively trying to lose. I maintained but I was eating a lot again. So... not too bad.

Just twenty more pounds!

But I'm taking it ten at a time. It's easier that way for some reason. Baby steps. Puts your goals a little closer so you push extra hard. Like at the end of a race you get that second wind right in the home stretch and you just punch nitro.

Honestly, when I started gaining weight back after the Army I could've kicked the crap outta myself. The weight thing is not a compromise. I don't care what the circumstances, I refuse to let myself become that fat freak I was in high school. Well, if I were pregnant then I guess weight gain wouldn't be a bad thing but that's so far from happening that it doesn't count... It may be unhealthy but my self-confidence in everything I do is directly connected to my weight. It always has been and I've just had to learn how to deal with that. But who cares! I'm in control now.

High school assholes eat your hearts out!!